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December 11, 2011 / Man in the Mirror

Jane vs. She-Ra

I realized something while out for lunch with my aunt and my cousins: men are attracted to the truly ‘gentle’ females. I was reading the same thing a year ago. It was either in the industrial age or the during the feminist movement that women began to become more assertive, aggressive and took care of many things in and out of the homes which made men feel that they were needed less. Over the years, this ‘change’ has made men feel incompetent and it takes away from their need to care for someone. The article also mentioned that more feminine women benefited because those were the kind of women that men gravitated towards.

At first when I read the article, I was like ‘what nonsense’. My line of thinking was ‘men don’t have time to do half the things they need to that is why the women are out and about to help them!’ I also thought ‘why would men want women who are so weak and are always need of saving and taking care of?’. But over time, regardless of my personal opinions, this phenomenon is true. I have seen it first hand with the people around me. I have seen men fall for women and respect those who are less boisterous and assertive. Men love those women who are more nurturing and are more gentle. And those women who are go-getters or who try to come up to par with the men…may be respected as colleagues or as friends but not as partners. Those scenes in Indian movies are so true of human nature: a woman surrounded by villains screaming for her hero to save her. I always used to wonder ‘why doesn’t she pick up something heavy or the damn gun and help the poor guy out?!!’. I guess if she did that…there would be no need for a hero would there? (And I have not met a single man who does not want someone he can potentially take care of!)

Unfortunately God has made me a less girly female…which doesn’t help me in any situation when it comes to personal relationships. And the worst is when I am with more feminine women…I usually feel like an ogre amongst fairies…like I am constantly pulling faux pas or I am not conducting myself daintily! I think my condition is a mixture of DNA (much more of my father’s than needed) and circumstances molding me this way.

I mentioned this theory of mine to a few people and they did not agree with me. They gave me so many examples of strong women in history and pointed out how both men and women admired them. Of course I agree that without the actions of certain women in the past…our current future would be very different…but my argument still is admiring someone and marrying someone are two different things. Most men are not secure enough in marrying a strong woman because it makes them feel less masculine.

Obviously, I am ready to change my mind if someone convinces me otherwise or I see evidence to the contrary…I should have paid more attention to my mother when she used to beg me to walk with my back straight, sit with my legs crossed, talk softly, not to use slang, dress up other words…act more like a lady!

But this is just my opinion…


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